the schizo that is me

im a believer
im a disbeliever

i accept God
i deny God

i dont ask questions
why this?? why that??

i have my faith
why..? why..?


i follow my heart
i follow my mind

i love you
i hate you

i need you,
i dont need you,

let us be forever
get lost!!


i cherish life
i curse life

i savor every moment
fuck it!!

life is beautiful
life sucks

i embrace it
it sucks big time!!


this is me
this is me

im in control...
im in control...

or am i??
yes, i am!!

yet, this is me...
yes, this is me...

poetry captured on film...

missing grace

I thought of you today.
It was not about your betrayal or your ignorance.
Rather, the thought of wishing you're well.
And that life is kinder to you somehow.

I did not wish to dwell on bittersweet memories.
Of childhood simplicity we have once been blessed.
My thoughts led me to a truth we once shared
An honesty only youth can give...only we could.

Remembering what it was like between us
All those nights. All those words. All those dreams.
The world was a cocoon waiting for us to break it.
A cradle we could set fire to and watched it burn.

Instead you heed to the whispers of another vision
You've forsaken us for self righteous prophecies
While you take pleasure in your self imposed normality
You left me to be prey to my own darkness

I reminisce how you always-Always brought me back
From the claws of my turbulent winters and feral suns
And now I embrace both charlatans like an addiction
A perfect hound craving the taste of the red hunt

I thought of you today.
It was not about your judgment and defeat
Rather, the pain of losing you to a path I could not follow.
And the acceptance that I never actually wanted to.

- seerborn

fascination with lines

I died once. It was uneventful
A blade through the heart
No over rated dramatics
No Romeo to a black Juliet

On that fateful day, my teacher found his prophecy
A man bounded by society's ideals
Yet broken and altered by its truth
Fate has given him the weird of the hunt
Forever marking his dreams; the scent of the kill
Calling, instructing and molding
Strengthening his craving for pain and pleasure
Mocking his flag of honor, morality; his fidelity


I was the source for the rain of blood
Splattering his pure white apparel
As he took respite on a small cataract
From the summons of a hunter god
Instead his providence trapped him in his need
Cornered by curiosity and righteousness

He found my essence flowing in a river of red
Then he remembers his dreams of precognition
And he looks over my dying flesh, knowing his path
Waiting for the ripper before waking me
A canvas for his only masterpiece

I woke up a blank slate. Empty. New.
My master painted me in reds and green
One to remind me of the art of death
The other the impurity of my being
And for a short eternity I was slowly being put together
Every fragment attached to my soul a sacrifice
Every lesson learned was wisdom on mortality's frailty
Every thought was mercy dying inside my mind
And finally, I had to give up my name to a cross
And took another for the truth I have become

I died once. Vile Juliet with blade in her hands.

- seerborn

apple

i am an apple
at the top of the tree
which gentlemen
dare not climb
afraid of falling
down to the ground

they just wait
til other apples
fall dead below
rotten and straw
or if not
they just reach
for other apples
at the lower branches
to be with them
much easier than me

but there will come
a time of the day
when the perfect one
would come along
and would choose to risk
his life and safety
and take time
to climb the tree
to reach for me

- aryanism

...

in my dream, i was you and you were God
in existence ive loved you and hated God
but in my dream...
( i hated you beacause i thought it was God )
i loved God because i thought it was you

in existence ive loved you and hated myself
but in my dream...
( i hated you because i thought it was me )
i loved myself because i thought it was you

parody of unsilence

love
such a simple word
yet so powerful

your eyes
your stare
mesmerizing

your lips
your smile
captivating

your presence
your whole
to die for

behold as i unveil
the truth
my inner self

no matter how hard
whatever the consequence
hear me as i declare

my parody of unsilence

i love you

she

She
Lost in the sea of her own thoughts
She wonders if she’ll ever be able to live long enough
Long enough to tell the truth about her
Secrets, fear, and ambitions she’d kept from the whole world
She’d been rejected ones
Tears and pain were the only ones comforting her that time
Dark corners were her only sanctuary
Disappearing from reality was her only hope
There were times she wanted to put things into words
But instead she found a parchment left untouched
An empty page that has been mocking her
A few hours has passed, the empty page now revealed a secret
Not in language but in depiction
Done in black and red
Ink splattered on every corner
Not much of a master piece but it was finally done
Wanting to show the whole world how she felt
But still she was rejected
Shunned aside like she never existed
A shadow from walls was her only companion
She was hurt, neglected twice in her life
She wondered if she’ll ever do the same thing over again
The pain is inevitable but she wanted them to see
To see her, not in shadows but dressed in white that shines when the light hits it just right
The world turned cold on her
Leaving her alone with no one to comfort her
No one to see her dance in her beautiful dress
No one to hear her captivating voice
She did everything for the world
But in exchange she was left alone
To forever wonder the dark corners
Maybe she’ll find something else
A new world perhaps; a world that finally cares
But for the time being; she’ll continue to trek the cold grounds of an empty path

- dmone

why

why should life be so complicated
why dont we make it simple
like the children for example
when they play in the garden
when they are happy they laugh
if theyre hurt they cry
why cant grown ups do just the same
why do we fool ourselves feeling happy
yet inside we feel pain
why would we hurt someone thinking that
would make us happy in the end
why do we hide our tears, our fears just to feel alright
why do we hide in the shadows where the only answer
is to face the light
why do we always try to deny love
when we always knew we feel it inside
tell me why...

ice candy

to that stare...
i melt like ice, i burn as i freeze
i bleed of pebbles of salt
and of thorns of purple roses
hurricane of thoughts
withered leaves of memories
they hunt me and stab me
though i walk a cotton path...

- crunchy alugbati

johny

johny coughed as he smokes his cigarette
catching a glimpse as the moon failed to come out
the air passing by made him shiver
johny was longing for someone to hold him
as he stared at an empty space
he was crying, remembering her
he pulled his guitar and strummed it
reminiscing the past where he dedicated his song

i looked at johny and he was puffing his cigarette
he was adored by many and
he was wearing a pink dress, i thought he was perfect
but now i wondered where he was
johny you know its not the end
the moon came out and the wind came crashing the windows
it's a cold night and i was looking for johny
there he was lying on the floor with a photograph in his hand
it was a picture of her, she could be the one
i looked at myself and i could see johny in me
my heart crashed like an old rocking chair
johny cant really see my heart in despair
it was you johny I adored
it was johny who makes my world go round

the night was dark but i could see the moon shining
the trees were dancing and i saw johny in his pink dress
he stood up and realized he was a big shit
he teared his pink dress and danced in the rain
i could hear the thunder as he said to me
it's all because of you why i am in pain.

-mai mai ako bestfriend

untitled...

I’m not certain who i am now...
maybe tomorrow...or maybe it was yesterday...
Ive changed and I’m lost...my strength depleted...
my soul left me...my mind in struggle...
only my love is strong...my faith shattered...
i am GOD in my own little world...
save me or be saved by me...
either way we're dead in His eyes...
i am nothing in this world as He is no one in mine...
lay down your heart...be mine...
be my queen coz it is I the king of dreams...

the critique, the poet, the pro...

effortlessly, your repressed being resonates thru your words.see? what is kept will eventually find it's way to escape. So filart, if you wonder why an online comrade like me seems to know you more than you ever know yourself, it is because i have peeped through your words in ways more than one. remember, an artist should know how to capture the macrocosm of a picture, no matter how minute it may appear to the naked eye. because all of the other four senses are bewitching and at times, deceiving, you have to make use of the remainder. if you want to write, YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO FEEL. i did just that.

as i said, your magic lies on the fact that you have exceptionally vague vocabulary, which is good because your playpen of words wouldn't be limited. synonyms come in varying intensities and though similar in meaning, one word will always sound better than the rest. i wouldn't exactly say you got the influence from the love-themed lyrics of most hardcore rock songs, but i am hearing a lot of The Used and a little of Linkin Park when i read your blog. That's absolutely fine, anyway. In poetry, more often than not, we talk by way of the language we know because our strongest influence is the immediate environment.

your words are deep and heavy. sometimes, you tend to use a lot of metaphors and euphemisms, to the extent that of losing what you really want to convey. the inconsistencies are therefore made clear and it only exposes what you are trying to hide. there's no undo and redo buttons in real life, so please refrain from editing out what isn't good and polishing it by world standards.

you are your own person auggie, and the distinctiveness of your individuality is evident in the words you weave. it's good to note that you embrace avant-garde. this way, you wouldn't be pressured with coming up with the write measures and rhymes. but don't stop midway and take a detour on the safer roads. let the thoughts float freely. write and write until everything has been poured out. afterwhich, you can rearrange the lines to better emphasize the core of your write-up. reread and reread as you revise and as much as possible, limit editing on grammar and the usual subject-verb agreement. you are on the verge of getting there. don't hold it back, never hold it back.

overall, i appreciate your being in touch with your inner self. but you two keep so much secrets together. do not worry filart, in the event that you decide to be true to yourself, the ordinary wouldn't notice it in your writing. poetry is actually a selective medium of communication. it transmits messages only to people who can understand. people who take time to cross the border, to diffuse through the barrier, to fully appreciate the person that is you. you are already on the right track, so keep going. brave orpheus by not turning and looking back. it will be all fine filart, believe me.

A Story,MYD and perfection for example, are particularly honest. you can basically taste the words as you read it. although all the rest were good enough, there are points where you backed off. Your atheist-themed ones lack emphasis because even before you sat down to jot those words, you already had a planned outcome in mind. it should never be like that. I am, You are is bitin. Probably you ran out of connecting ideas. And your poor attempt at blasphemy ended up appearing uneasy. motherfukcin whore is too strong for a word, plus it greatly deviates from the default masculine image of Superman and God in the preceeding stanzas. the gender shift on the last line isn't a good idea, really.

and oh, by the way, the masculine form of whore is stud.

*the above selection is a solicited request from a budding fan (lol. this is my blog, so you practically can't do anything, too bad ^_^). but yes, The Effortless is a review on my friend, Auggie's poetry style. my poetic structure sucks too, but what the hell, he views me as a pro so i better walk the talk.lol

- aryanism
- title changed

you are...i am...

you are superman
i am your kryptonite
you are darkness
i am your blinding light
you are adam
i am your temptation
you are romeo
i am your poison
you are God
i am nothing

im in your mind
im in your heart
im in your soul

you need me...
i may be your weakness, but i remain to be your whole...

- j

parody of silence

....
.... . ...... ....
... .. .........
.... ....
.... .....
...........
.... ....
.... .....
...........
.... ........
.... .....
.. ... ...
...... .. . ......
... .....
.. ..... ....
.. ...... ... ....
........ ... ...........
.... .. .. . .......
.. ...... .. .........
. .... ...

tree

on restless ground i stand anew
like a stubborn seed which suddenly grew
amidst these promises i stand affirmed
like this stubborn seed which turned to a stem
open-eyed and shall no longer be deceived
with this stem which grew some leaves
shallow thoughts now i understand
now the leaves outstretched some bulky branch
all my life now i feel free
like the stem had independently turned to a tree
in this new life ill walk straight and to walk indeed
for this new tree had brought its first seed

the other girlfriend

she's the bitch. the homewrecker. the one who puts poison to apples. the number two. the substitute. the one people are gushing about. the slut.
enough.
she may be deemed as the bad one, but what the heck, she LOVES him.
it is as simple as that.
because more than being the other woman, she…
WAITS for the "right" time.and HOPES that the "for the mean time lang naman tayong ganito" would be over soon.
STEPS OUT when it's time for her to be with him.and STEPS BACK IN when she's gone.
ABSORBS all the backbites in the world.and ALLOWS herself to be judged.
KEEPS their kilig stories away from the box she shares with friends.and DENIES herself the right of self-_expression.
is OBLIGED not to demand nor get jealousand is almost always AWARE that she has no right to get hurt.
can't even SAY his name in public.
is EXPECTED to understand and adjust and give way.ALL THE TIME
i know.i understand.i feel.
because the other woman is me.

-aryanism

The Surcease of Sorrow

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am the sparkle in the snow.
I am the shredded leaves that blow.
I am the sunlight on growing grain.
I am the gentle summer rain.
I am the quiet bird at night.
Circling about; Taking flight.
So do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

-bimbol pero kinopya ni niya gyapon kang Kelly L. Delaney

i am...you are... v. 2.0

i am superman
you are my lois lane
i am darkness
you are my star
i am adam
you are my eve
i am romeo
you are my juliet
i am God
you are my Goddess

enter my mind
enter my heart
enter my soul

i need you...
you are my existence, you are my whole...

one night stand

"the most beautiful place in the world,"
you told me,
"is under the sheets."
so we made it ours.
only ours.
you clutched me inside
under a paisley-filled heaven
and above an upholstered cloud.
no word were spoken
only unfinished poetry rhymes
and chords with missing strings.
we let no light pass
just love
or was it not?
i forgot to breathe
as your lips
collided with mine.
so much were already said between them
so much
that to shut up was bliss
and as we closed our eyes
once again
the world was ours.
the warmth lingered
as your whispered promises
danced on the sides of my ear
your hands trekking down
the tiny humps of my spine
your legs locked with my thighs…
and we wonder—
how coffee, books and laughter
had brought us into this world of happiness
that though wrapped in darkness
we saw the light back to ourselves—–
———us.
as one.
i felt your skin brushed with mine
my head was on your shoulder
and before it escaped me
my heart was beating next to yours
the next thing i knew
i was back in the bigger world
and they were asking
where's erik?
to which i asked back
erik who?

-aryanism

poetry in motion

this is my blog...salamat ni aryanism akng feeling close na miga pro d nko sya type....hahaha....sya gahimo ani pra nko...unya kani na blog pra sa mga tawo hilig ug poems....kng naa moy mga ma share dha...bsig unsa....gugma2x, patay2x, emote2x ug uban pa....share lng email lng nko... shotglass@beer.com ug plihug taronga ug type ha pra d nko mag edit....once agen salamat kang aryanism....hala ka part kadghan na to ha yaw na pang loud....hahahha amen..

p.s. ang d kasabot ug bisaya....sori, just post ur lousy poems....hehhe

para kang c***re

pare, void!
wa koi mana pare...
stun bai!
sori... di makita ni ngitngit....

wrath zeus!
atay! wa namatay...
mag-vanguard ko part?!
cge! para gahi ka pareha nako...

bai, push nata!
ayaw sa bai... mag-aegis sa ko...
tabang sa tunga cuats!
sa ubos ra ko!

boss... bangaa aning cuatre noh?!
mao jud! 100 imo gi bayranan noob (randyll)
dakua oi! pero cge lang pildi man si cuatre...
bossing: hahaha... ginansiya na sad ko!

- david john delima.. akong migo na sawi

a story of confusion, love and infatuation

the mind is at lost, when the heart takes charge
like a song in my thoughts, but i cant tend to find the tune
like a poem i know within my soul, but i just cant find the words to write
im at lost, confused, is it because im without you?
i wonder why, yes i wonder why...

has the arrows of love struck me this time
a cut of poison came shivering my spine, left me wounded,
i am the hunted
this mix emotion of love and infatuation, left me asking, have i really fallen
this insane thought and dillusion of us is quite unbearable,
but i will endure it..
just for you, yes only for you...

you haunt me like a ghost in my past
i want to say im missing you but i cant
id like to prove that i want to be with you but i wont
say something, show me a sign, for i want it to be perfect
and i want it to be right
i must ask you to forgive me for this courage that i lack
for though, i may love you as my love would last for eternity
im just afraid, so afraid that you wont love me back...

M.Y.D

i dream of a place where i can always smile
in that dream i see you, i wonder where the trees are?
the flowers?the people? in that dream i only see you
how can i smile in this place full of nothing except you
maybe God has forgotten me...
i pitited myself, even through dreams i can no longer smile
so i sat down and start to cry
and then you came, and said..."hush it will be alright"
then i smiled, a smile i never thought i had all my life.

my other half...

My solitary soul seemingly in sorrow
Frazzled.fractionated, fragmented incomplete
Screaming in silence it seeks happiness
And that finally it will forever find
Solemnity,serenity,satisfaction, completeness

Thousands of time i think of the other part of me
Thoughts of it like thunder that thumps me tremendously
Wistfully whispering wondrous words of inquiry
When will it watch my way and be with me as a whole…
Why its absence such an agony to my soul..

In a dumb darkness I descend and plead
Genuflecting to thy good grace that me he will lead
To the undying delightfulness my dreams divulged
Guidance of thy good grace I ask to govern my act
In my search of satisfaction be exact

Just in fantasy this fragment fills me
Entirely It fills my emptiness earnestly
Flames of fulfillment felt by my full being
That encompasses every known epidemic
Which entails to the eradication of life’s exact meaning

At times a trickle of a tear trims down my eye
Terrified that things would turn out a fictitious lie
Sitting staring, a single sound I cannot utter
Standing still, a sole step I cannot manufacture
It’s a sheer shock that shuts me to complete stillness

But no matter how hard the hunt of happiness will be
Upright I’ll rise, unregretful, I’d risk things courageously
Nothing can hinder my heart from holding back my search
For the fragment, the fraction that will fulfill my forlorn soul
Whatever the future holds, contently, willingly I’ll wait,For my love….. my other half…..

-crunchy alugbati

seemingly there...

in the deepest recesses of my thoughts i was there...my greatest joy was at hand... or so i thought?!i gave her my soul to the bare...but look at the damage it brought...how could i have been so blind not to see...the darkness of my plight...but still my life belongs to me...blue skies, i plead... come on the first crack of light!

-david john delima

untitled...

i may not be good at words but i know what perfection is...
to be alone with you, to see your face, to smell your warmth,
to feel your touch, to taste your lips, to hear your voice...
a moment of togetherness...you and me oblivious to the world,
in a state of blissfull harmony, exchanging loves, capturinng hearts...
a litany of soft gentle words, a caress to the mind...
sublime for the soul...you and me, PERFECTION...

i am...you are...

i am superman
you are my kryptonite
i am darkness
you are my light
i am abel
you are my cain
i am romeo
you are my poison
i am God
you are nothing

exit my mind
exit my heart
exit my soul

i dont need you...
you muthafuckin' whore...

walang titulo

Hoy! halika, mag laro tayo
labas tayo dalhin mo baril ko
ikaw kalaban ako ang bida
papatayin kita sa pagtapon ko ng granada

'wag kang umilag dapat itoy iyong saluhin
hindi dapat sila mabibitin
gusto nila ng madugong patayan
itoy ginagawa nilang katatawanan

Hoy! bata, halika laro tayo
hubarin mo damit ko pati na rin sa iyo
tabi ka sakin at akoy halikan
siguradong itoy kanilang magugustuhan

'wag kang umiyak 'wag ka rin pumikit
para sa kanila itoy sarap at hindi sakit/sakim
humiga ka at iyong saluhin ang sakit kong
nakakahawa
gusto nila itong mangyari sa mga gaya mong
batang sariwa

Hoy! tanda, halika laro tayo
akin na sungkod mo at tumayo ka ng diretso
tanggapin mo aking sipa at malalakas na suntok
ako kunwari ay tao at ikaw ay lamok

hindi ka makakailag dahil ikaw ay mahina
sa mundong ito ang mga kagaya mo ang mawawala
sila na matataas ang may kapangyarihan
pera ang kanilang ginagawang diyos-diyosan

Hoy! halika, laro pa tayo
punta tayo doon sa malayo
ikaw tao ako ang diyos
paparusahan kita ng lubos

sinira mo ang aking nilikha
mananagot ka sakin dahil ako ang Bathala
wala kang karapatan, wala kang alam
ikay hindi diyos, tao ka lamang

Hoy! halika, laro pa tayo...
'wag kang matakot, 'wag kang magtago
laro pa tayo...

untitled...

i hav nothing left to say or to do...let it be God who guides my footsteps, all this time i thought i can handle things my way, but then again i was wrong...foolishly building my own world, exalting my life to the highest of expectations, desperate, defeated, take my hand....for at this moment i surrender, this life i do not own, this dreams i will not have, this love i will not forsake....i am not perfect that now i know, im just a simple man....just another fragment of God's great masterplan.

star

Twinkle twinkle little sorrow,
Like the star on that Christmas eve.
Ever guiding, always you would follow,
to light my path through the land of grieve

twinkle twinkle little sadness,
since my time has begun, always with me
the most shining, ever brightness,
my teacher, my master on this art of misery

twinkle twinkle little hatred,
the eldest of all, the first to live,
the beginning, of it all to him it started
whereas all this pain I have received

twinkle twinkle little love,
how I wish you’ll end this strife,
alas, it is a star that I never have,
in this constellation we call life…

parody of nonsense

theres this one guy i know
a good guy, no, rephrase that
hes a great guy
so great that guy is, hes done
nothing in life
greatness he said is achieved
when you are remembered whilst
youve done nothing at all
ha! you believe that sucker?!
well, maybe he has a point
for one thing, i do remember him
anyways, that guy, that "great" guy
hes just as ordinary as the other guys
hes not great at all
hes a frustrated rock and roll legend
with a conceited thought of being perfect
a hopeless romantic, a poet wanna be
wait a minute...i think that guy is me
lets get back to that guy i know
the "great" one
well this guy, hes all-knowing
a paragon, the avatar of power
omnipotent...omniscient...
but this guy? he doesnt exist, or does he?
hes the self proclaimed way, truth
and life...the beginning, the end
some call him the creator, the father
yeah right?! why dont you call him dad?
yeah, you got me, that guy is God
so maybe this "great" guy that i know
maybe hes a nobody, a nonexistent dude
just a figment of a wild imagination
maybe he is, and ill try to find that out
but 'til then, lets just chill
and so here my story ends
just another parody of nonsense